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A CHALLENGER APPEARS! Get Ready!

October 7, 2009

LIKE AN UNSEEN DODGEBALL FROM A GYMNASIUM, I APPEAR!

*Ahem*

Moshi-Moshi. This be Malachite Dragon- Also known as, among other things, Author, Paul, Kouryou, and He Who Comes Up With Convoluted Shit You Have No Freaking Idea Seriously. While I have been forbidden from using my Author persona here (PERSONA! *BANG*) I will, however, endeavor to be as obnoxious, annoying, hyper, and above all, entertaining as possible. I really have no freaking clue how to review…anything, so what you’ll get are more…summaries, essentially. For my first trick, I will be doing a review/summary/fangasm of the PSX game, Legend of Dragoon. This is a game near and dear to my heart, but do not expect me to be finished with this any time soon- I own all four disks, and I am doing this review Disk. By. Friggin’. Disk. I have never completed this game in under 100 hours, so you’ll just have to put up with the wait. Said review will begin either sometime later tonight or sometime tomorrow. Until then, my little puppets!
~Malachite Dragon

Bionicle Quote of the Day:
Turaga Vakama: Gathered friends, listen again to our legend, of the Bionicle…

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In Space, No One Can Hear You Curse: Review of “Sigma Star Saga”

October 7, 2009
She is, in fact, holding her boob. I'm as surprised as you are.

She is, in fact, holding her boob. I'm as surprised as you are.

Peanut Butter and Jelly. At first, you think why the hell I’m talking about food when I’m supposed to review a game, but let me get to the point. It sounds weird at first, but when combined, it makes for a truly delicious food. Such is also the case, sans deliciousness, with video games. Developers have tried different genres to merge together to make a game, which comes out either in fantastic¬† or disastrous results. In Sigma Star Saga‘s case, a hybrid RPG/Shooter made for the Gameboy Advance, the effects of this hybridization is fairly ok.

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Sequels Are Indeed Better: “Review of “Iridium 2”

October 2, 2009
Stuff Goes Boom

Stuff Goes Boom

It is often considered that sequels of anything (movies, games, books) are more better than their original counterparts, seeing how the people who originally made this looked over the problems of the first and made the second if not, slightly better, This is exactly the case with Iridion II, a scrolling shooter GameBoy Advance video game that was made by Shi’En. This is the direct sequel of their first game, Iridion 3D.

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Mutant Rodent: Review of “Rocky Rodent”

October 2, 2009
Rodent or Hyena? Discuss.

Rodent or Hyena? Discuss.

Every so often, I look through a bunch of games that either made me wish I had not played it, or wish that I do not see it in the first place. This is such the case with Rocky Rodent a game that was released on the SNES in 1993 by IREM USA. There are so many questions that I have for this game, and a lot of them remain unanswered. I really wonder why I reviewed this game.

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Advance Makes It Sound Cool: Review of “Metal Slug Advance”

October 1, 2009

Metal_Slug_Advance

Metal Slug Advance is a run and gun game for the GBA that was created by SNK Playmore and canon to the Metal Slug Series. If you’re familiar with this game, then it’s clear to say those summer days in the laundromat were wasted, along with a pocketful of quarters, to this game.

I remember spending $5 to this game and not getting past the third level in the arcade version. I sucked at it.

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God Is A Teenage Boy: Review of “Terranigma”

September 29, 2009
Really, God is a teenage boy

Really, God is a teenage boy

Terranigma is a game that was released on the Super Nintendo that was developed by Quintet, which was published by Enix (now SquareEnix) and Nintendo subsequently released the English, French, German, and Spanish languages in PAL Territories, which quite simply put, this game was not released Stateside. It is also the Spiritual Successor of Illusion of Gaia which is ALSO the Spiritual Successor of SoulBlazer. Still with me?

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Theme Being Changed

September 25, 2009

If things look a little bit weird, I’m just fixing up some header and theme stuff.

To be truthful, I don’t like this theme.