Mach Speed: Review of “Sparkster”

OHGODICANTSTOPZOOMINGTHROUGH!

With the announcement of  Rocket Knight for downloadable services, a follow-up to this game’s plot, I decided to take the time in reviewing what would be the biggest awaited continuation of a game since Duke Nukem Forever (and with the uttering of it’s name, you can probably expect yet another delay for the game). Will it stand up to my strict platforming judging skills or will Sparkster fails to launch?

Beginning of The End: Review of “Phantasy Star IV: The End of The Millenium”

Good lord, spandex overload!

In terms of video games, I sometimes feel like I am a very sheltered gamer. Switching to and forth between a Gameboy game, then switching to a SNES Game and then finally switching to a Gameboy Advance game, and the cycle starts again, but I say no more! No more shall I turn to familiar namesakes and boldly go into the unknown and review something entirely different from another system! Which, thanks to the advice of malachitedragon, I have decided to review this game known as “Phantasy IV: The End of The Millenium”*

(*: To some die-hard Phantasy fans, this is known as Phantasy Star: The Apology, due to the third installment being pretty much forgotten about.)

Treasure Hunt: “Review of “Wario Land 3″

GWAHHHHHH!!

Every so often comes  agame that grabs ahold of my attention and doesnt let it go for days, weeks, or even months. Such a game that falls into the category is this next game, Wario Land 3 for the GameBoy Color. As you know, I did an earlier review that showcased the very first Wario Land game, and needless to say I liked it. Will it’s third installment be able to grab ahold of my shorteened attention span? Will it stop me from screaming, “GWAHHHHH!!” and run into a wall, hoping to break it with only using my shoulder? Read on, folks!

Logic Fails: Review of “Operation Logic Bomb”

Logic Bomb? My god..

I’m a little fence with some shooter games. Some of them are quite boring and you can easily cruise through probably a quarter of the game without noticing, or you can spend that same time cursing every single imaginable deity as you use your 20th continue(I’m looking at you, Contra 3!). This is not entirely the case with Operation Logic Bomb as it mixes both loads of action and an incredibly limited Continue system. Just to give you a heads up, you get three continues. Three.

My Head Hurts: Review of “Polarium Advance”

It works your brain!

I’m a little bit on the fence about certain puzzle games, the only exception would be the Tetris series and it giving me nights of seeing blocks fall down when I close my eyes. Sure, some of them are fun and exciting, and sometimes damn innonative, but some of them quickly lose their fun and start becoming repetitive, but unlike Polarium Advance, this game tries to make you play it at least once a day. Really.

Top Ten: Spiritual Successors of Video Games

A “Spiritual Successor” is a type of sequel that is not considered part of the same world and storyline but is nonetheless considered a successor since it was made by the original’s game creators and that it shares common themes, styles or elements of it. You can probably think of a Spiritual Successor as the smart-alecky half-brother who’s a little bit better than you. Today, RetroviewActive looks at the Top Ten Spiritual Successor video games in history.

This is Scary How?: Review of “Ghoul Patrol”

It rhymes! That's scary enough, right?

What do you get when you mix a completely unrelated game, executive meddling, zombies, and chasing down helpless people in the midst of hordes of “horrible” monsters? Well, you get Ghoul Patrol for the Super NES! Ghoul Patrol could be considered the illegitimate child of the first game, Zombies Ate My Neighbors, and also the result of Executive Meddling as it was considered to be a totally unrelated game to ZAMN, which ultimately made it bombed commercially and no sequels were further considered.

A CHALLENGER APPEARS! Get Ready!

LIKE AN UNSEEN DODGEBALL FROM A GYMNASIUM, I APPEAR!

*Ahem*

Moshi-Moshi. This be Malachite Dragon- Also known as, among other things, Author, Paul, Kouryou, and He Who Comes Up With Convoluted Shit You Have No Freaking Idea Seriously. While I have been forbidden from using my Author persona here (PERSONA! *BANG*) I will, however, endeavor to be as obnoxious, annoying, hyper, and above all, entertaining as possible. I really have no freaking clue how to review…anything, so what you’ll get are more…summaries, essentially. For my first trick, I will be doing a review/summary/fangasm of the PSX game, Legend of Dragoon. This is a game near and dear to my heart, but do not expect me to be finished with this any time soon- I own all four disks, and I am doing this review Disk. By. Friggin’. Disk. I have never completed this game in under 100 hours, so you’ll just have to put up with the wait. Said review will begin either sometime later tonight or sometime tomorrow. Until then, my little puppets!
~Malachite Dragon

Bionicle Quote of the Day:
Turaga Vakama: Gathered friends, listen again to our legend, of the Bionicle…

In Space, No One Can Hear You Curse: Review of “Sigma Star Saga”

She is, in fact, holding her boob. I'm as surprised as you are.

Peanut Butter and Jelly. At first, you think why the hell I’m talking about food when I’m supposed to review a game, but let me get to the point. It sounds weird at first, but when combined, it makes for a truly delicious food. Such is also the case, sans deliciousness, with video games. Developers have tried different genres to merge together to make a game, which comes out either in fantastic  or disastrous results. In Sigma Star Saga‘s case, a hybrid RPG/Shooter made for the Gameboy Advance, the effects of this hybridization is fairly ok.

Sequels Are Indeed Better: “Review of “Iridium 2″

Stuff Goes Boom

It is often considered that sequels of anything (movies, games, books) are more better than their original counterparts, seeing how the people who originally made this looked over the problems of the first and made the second if not, slightly better, This is exactly the case with Iridion II, a scrolling shooter GameBoy Advance video game that was made by Shi’En. This is the direct sequel of their first game, Iridion 3D.

Mutant Rodent: Review of “Rocky Rodent”

Rodent or Hyena? Discuss.

Every so often, I look through a bunch of games that either made me wish I had not played it, or wish that I do not see it in the first place. This is such the case with Rocky Rodent a game that was released on the SNES in 1993 by IREM USA. There are so many questions that I have for this game, and a lot of them remain unanswered. I really wonder why I reviewed this game.

Advance Makes It Sound Cool: Review of “Metal Slug Advance”

Metal Slug Advance is a run and gun game for the GBA that was created by SNK Playmore and canon to the Metal Slug Series. If you’re familiar with this game, then it’s clear to say those summer days in the laundromat were wasted, along with a pocketful of quarters, to this game.

I remember spending $5 to this game and not getting past the third level in the arcade version. I sucked at it.